Last night,me and Ewan had a long talk after our arguement.
I feel we really need to work things out.
Something happened on Tuesday which I won't elaborate.
Since that day I don't know if I should believe whatever he said although he meant good just to get something for my birthday which was supposed to be a surprise.
Honestly,I've never trusted him since the incident that happened months ago.
I got so tensed that I hurled vulgarities,I threw my ring at him.
I felt so lost,not knowing what else to do to make my relationship bloom just like the past.
Truthfully I told him that the feelings that I've been having for him is slowly fading away that at times,whenever a mistake occured,it can never bother me that much.
Sometimes,I can't even bring myself to face him although it wasn't my fault.
I really,really want us to be like how we used to.
Being so in love with each other,walking hand in hand,laughing and being happy together.
I still remember those moments...
'Honeymoon period' is over I guessed.
But what I fear most now is that I'm afraid the love that I've always had for him will totally run dry.
I must have faith and confidence in myself too.
I don't want that to happen whatsmore when we are settling down soon.
I want things to change between us.
I don't want the love to fade,I don't want us to fall apart.
"This 1 month is for you to really,really change since you still want to go on with the relationship and since you want to work things out.
Please,please don't disappoint me any further as I'm already sad and disappointed enough over whatever is happening around us over and over again.
I wanna love you and only you,just like what you always told me that you want to be with me and only me.
No matter how much I always say I hate you whenever we argue,you definitely know that is so not true and you will never believe me when I said that.
You will always say that no matter how many times I've said I hated you,you believed that deep down in me,there is still love for you.
So please Ewan...."
